Tell Me How to Thank You

"Thank You"

Sebuah kata yang sering banget keluar dari mulutku. Satu kata yang biasanya terucap begitu saja. Sebuah kata yang... apa ya... termasuk kata-kata emas yang melambangkan rasa syukur.

Kalau begitu, dengan sering mengucapkan kata itu, just like I do, apakah orang tersebut bisa dibilang orang yang selalu bersyukur?

Hmmm....

Sayangnya, belum tentu...

Look at me, for some example. I destroyed my whole life since last "Lebaran". Face it, I've become gloomier. Every sunday is depression day. "Disturbia" became my favorite song. Suicidal thoughts always crosses my mind. I even drag two people that I loved into despair, hurting them unknowingly.

Just because I don't know how to thank you.

How can I become this silly? I was surrounded by people who love and support me. Mom, dad, Yodi, Tisa, Hime, Niya, many more, they would love me and wished nothing except I loved them in return. They showed me that they'll accept me, support me, help me survive through this hard life.

But, I didn't see that. Because... My mind's already clouded. Because I put everything in one basket, and when that basket is gone, i thougght all my life was gone.

Because, once again, I don't know how to thank you. I don't know how to be thankful because I have those people. Because I'm too stupid to realize that those people worth MILLION TIMES that THAT GODDAMN BASTARD WHO SAID "I LOVE YOU" THEN LEAVE ME OUT OF THE BLUE.

Ooops, I did that to Niya, eh? That means I'm a bastard too...

Yeah. I hurt them in the end.

That shows the world how stupid I am. How immature I am. Last word that "that-goddamn-person" said is I was so immature. I hate it when he's right, especially because I think he said that coz he found "the weasel" (refer to Pangeran Tidur: Kota, Musang, dan Kekasih Hati). But yeah, I'm so immature because I don't know how to thank them. I don't know that I should be thankful because they were here with me.

But now, I have learned my lessons. I have received my punishment. I just wish I can mend Hime's and Niya's heart again...

To all people mentioned in this post, I'm sorry. I promise, I'll change. For myself. For the better me. So I can be happy and, in turn, bring happiness to all of you. To all people who have just know me, i just tell you my past, and I'll try not to repeat it again. I'm stronger now, so... feel free to know me better. Believe me, you won't be dissapointed. ;)

So, moral of the story, let's be thankful for all that we had. Let's not dwell in the past. And let's live our life to the fullest. Ok?

Cheers!